Wednesday, April 17, 2013

*Check, this thing still on?*

*Mic check, mic anyone still out there?*

Hey there friends.

It's been a long while.  A long, long while.

If you haven't followed me over here, let me catch you up.  Life has been busy raising three kids.  I'm eternally grateful for the sleepless nights, the overflowing laundry and the sink full of dishes.  The babies have just become mobile and are getting into everything.

But I've also spent a lot of time about how things started.  How lucky we are to be here.  How there are women who I started with that are still trying.  I'm broken for you.

I've been wanting to come back to this space for a while.  While there are people that I know IRL that follow this blog, it isn't nearly as many as that follow the triplets' blog.  And, well, I still need you IF ladies.  Even though my kids are now 13 months old, the pain of infertility is never far away.

What spurred my decision to dust off the cobwebs from A peek into our Journey came from a text message today.  It simply read "No heartbeat...."

This isn't my baby, obviously, but it was a baby that was already near to my heart.  I already loved this baby.  And my heart is absolutely breaking for the woman, my friend, who had to hear this today.  My stomach dropped to the same place it did when I heard the words "I'm sorry...I don't see any cardiac activity...."  It isn't fair.  It sucks.  I hate that we will now have this in common.  I hate that she will come home to an empty house tomorrow, knowing that a baby will not be coming home with her in November.

It's easy to think that the pain of infertility and miscarriage will go away once you have your take home baby, but it doesn't.  It is easier to bear, absolutely, but it doesn't go away.  Not completely.

C, I'm sorry.  I wish there was something more I could do.